How to Exact Your Revenge

Raegan Lee, Staff Writer

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The first step in exacting your revenge is to calm down—whatever made you mad, sit down and get over it. It sounds harsh, but the first step in revenge is to coldly plan. Make a list. Take a notebook and write down your plan.

Keep that drive! Now I didn’t say keep that anger. That hinders you. Keep that drive, that determination, that energy that propels you in exacting your revenge .

Kill the victim with kindness. Cliche, but guaranteed to work—that’s why it’s a cliche. People who have broken your heart, insulted you, or just plain pissed you off? Being nice to them when they’re aware that they made you angry will scare them and consume them with guilt.

Don’t actually hurt anyone. It sounds simpler than it actually is, but how can you exact your revenge when you’re in jail or under a restraining order? The quick answer: you can’t.

Build yourself up. This one is hard! I know we all want to make the victim’s life as horrible as we possibly can, but we can’t do that. Prove yourself to be the better person by improving yourself. If they make fun of you for getting a 58% on your calculus test, then get a 93% the next time and ask them what they got.

Let everyone know what the victim did or said to you, and spread it like wildfire. If what she did was really horrible, then because of it she will isolate herself when others find out what happened.

If you’re a believer in karma, that’s great for you! All you have to do is wait for karma to happen and, when it does, sit back and grab a tub of popcorn…because you’ll be seeing fireworks.

If the victim ever needs your help, you have two options. The first is kill her again with kindness; the second, don’t help her at all. When you’re helping her, she’ll feel even more guilty for what she’s done.

Finally, just let it go. If you can’t do anything about what happened, don’t let it eat at you because that is the ultimate non-revenge. You would be the only one to suffer if you let it eat at you.

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How to Exact Your Revenge